Communism: A Quick Tale

The other day someone argued that Communism was still a relevant system of government.  I wrote this short story in reply.

The Communists have decided to create their society and cure their ills brought on by capitalism. But someone doesn’t agree. There is a belligerent anarchist who refuses to accept Commnism as the high-way to social serenity.  He wants; no,  demands,  an anarchist society. Believing fully in his cause, he marches down to the Communist HQ to tell share his ideas. He strides into the official offices of the communist leaders. They stare at him blankly. He take s a deep breath.

“Anarchism is the answer to our social ills” he preaches “we must stop this communist program immediately”

“Well” the repulsed leaders of the communist boom “why wouldn’t you want a communist society? What the hell is wrong with you? Can’t you see the plain, intellectual truth that a communism is best for all and historically inevitable?”

“No” rebukes the anarchist  sternly “only anarchism leads to human contentment. Communism is a false philosophy that leads to ruin”

The communist leaders eye each other knowingly. This anarchist is simple, perverse and selfish; incredibly stupid even and a threat to society. In fact, he is openly working against the people.

“Lock him up!” cries the leader “they are enemies of the people!” Job done.  Satisfied that he has preserved society, he goes back to his paper work with a slight smile on his face, but before his pen touches paper there is a wrapping of knuckles on the door.

“Come in” he splurts impatiently.

“Hello, I’m a liberal Christian” the visitor declares boldly ” I do not need your atheistic enterprise. As long as I have God in my heart, I do not need any help from you Communists. I am free to live however I like with no state interferences whatsoever. ”

“Good grief!” the leader thinks to himself, his impatience giving way to alarmism. How many non-believers are out there, or worse, these unenlightened folk that still believe in God and miracles?! He sits motionless, before the confused silence is interrupted by the Christian’s suggestive coughing.

“Oh yes!”  blurts the leader “lock him up!”

Visibly shocked by the confused political cocktail in his society, he begins to think of his next move. If there are this many people openly challenging Communism, how many are staying silent on the affair? If only there was some way to find out and cut out this lazy thinking upstream before it becomes too dangerous.  The apple falls from the tree.

“Georgious” he says smoothly to his colleague “I need you to to a job for me.”

“Yes, sir! Anything, sir!” the doting understudy replies enthusiastically.

Placing one hand on his shoulder and leaning in slightly the leader asks ” I need you to set up a taskforce of some kind to find out how many people think like that Christian. We shouldn’t call it anything frightful. After all, we are doing what’s best for society. We shall call it the Department for Common Thoughtfulness.”

“Excellent idea” Georgeious muses obsequiously ” we must protect society. For the greater good, sir”

Full on the knowledge of Georgious’s commitment to the cause, the leader’s exasperation is allayed and settles. But he is a committed and honest fellow and has some unsettled nights before Georgious returns with his report. In the dead of night the thoughts fight and rage. What cancer is eroding at his society and what can he do to cure it? For the most part, he puts his concern down to excessive thinking. His motivation is unselfish. All he wants is to make society better for all, richer, freeer, and loose from the shackles of oppression. Equality for all. A modest dream, really.

A few days later Georgious returns with his report, encyclopaedic in size.
“Well, you’ve been busy” chirps the leader. “What have you found?”
” It’s not good, sir” Georgious replies with ashen faced seriousness, “there are thousands of these Christians out there, sir.”
Digesting this news momentarily  paralyses the leader. “Go on” he says to the shaken Georgeious.
“Tens, if not, hundreds of thousands expressing various forms of anti-Communist thought. They devoutly follow this guy, Jesus Christ, and belief he to be the messiah”
“Damn that Jesus Christ!” booms the leader slamming his fist down on the table ” I have heard of him and his ways. For a man that has been dead for 2000 years he is being a lively thorn in my side! The man is a glorified fucking magician!”
“What can be done, sir?” prods Georgious desperately.
The leader looks up at the photo of Karl Marx hanging on the wall. Communism is inevitable we know that. We just need to get there. Then everything will be alright. On the horns of a dilemma, the leader finds a solution.
“Camps!” yells the leader.
“Camps, sir?” replies Georgious curiously.
“Yes” comes the lofty response “places where we can teach the correct methods of thinking and protect the innocent people of society from this deranged Christian obstinacy. It wouldn’t take long. Just a few months, I think.”
“Excellent idea, sir” Georgious asserts, proud in the knowledge that the revolution is safe “that is why you are our leader” Before adding energetically,” I will rally the forces and round up the corrupters.”
As he turns to leave the leader adds pointedly “Georgious” he says superciliously “call the camps something nice; Centres for Society Wholesomeness, perhaps?”

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